When I was 24, my best friend, Jenn, passed away suddenly. To aid in my grief, my mother gave me a copy of the book, Tear Soup. It speaks on grieving and how it's a lonely and hard process. I made a batch of Tear Soup for Jenn, never knowing that in the near future I would make another batch for my mom and dad.
Soon after my mom passed, I found the book. I placed it back on the shelf quickly, not reading it. I was not ready to make a batch of Tear Soup. I wanted to stay angry.
Anger is useful. I use it as a blanket to comfort, and a shield to protect, when memories and regrets invade. I fear letting the anger go as the weight of losing my parents might crush me.
I have felt the pull to that book recently, knowing its time to make some Tear Soup. It's time to let the fear and anger go. I am surrounded by love. I kiss my husband, and cuddle my kids, knowing I am blessed far beyond what I deserve.
My mom made soup better than anyone, it's time we make this batch together.
4 comments:
You do such a great job of sharing your feelings and experiences and I appreciate that vulnerability on a blog. I read that book when my sister died and it gave me a way to describe my grief to my husband, who tried so hard to understand, but sometimes didn't. You have been through some serious loss in such a short time and I think of you often when I'm struggling with my grief. I hope this batch of soup heals your heart, even if just a little. Hang in there!
I love the thoughts you share. It's understandable. Anger can last a lifetime if we let it and it has the allusion of protecting the wounded heart. Your parents created a beautiful inspiration with their lives, with their children, with you, and the legacy continues.
Love you Stef
Oh stef, I can't even imagine how hard that was and still is for you!! YOu are so great and so strong!! What a wonderful thing the gospel is for us to have the knowledge that we will be with our loved ones again!!! Sending a hug your way!!!
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